Episode 22: "NECROPOLIS" feat. James K *FULL EPISODE ON PATREON*

Necropolis No, no, it's just a swaggy look for the pod, you know? You look like a mafia boss. Nah, it's okay. You're listening to the free version of Clout Farm for the full episode sub the Patreon geezer. What's just this on Friday? I was like, James K is ripping gum. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Thank you, guys. Thank you, guys. Thank you, guys. You're not going to leave a message? How do I do that? I've never left a message. You can fucking talk. Jimmy, pick up. Pick up the phone. Why are you picking up? I have so much to say. We're talking to James K on CloudFarm, the world's premier amateur podcast. If you, too, would like to get in contact with James K, just call 917-908-17. Don't forget to leave a message. Not that it's necessary because Jamie picks up every single call bar mine. Jamie, what do you have to say for yourself? Gaia. Thank you, Gaia. Was that you? Making those ungodly noises? Have you ever seen that video before? What is that? That's a TikTok type trend. Is it Charlie bit my finger?

No, no, it's actually a ring ring banana phone. Yeah. I took that photo this morning and forgot about ring ring ring banana phone. She was like, you've got to leave. She hasn't seen ring ring banana phone. She doesn't use the internet. This is what I'm saying. It's insane. It's not like, tapped in to know where he put on the phone is. Don't chat to him, bro. It was such a good video. For us to get together and sing, sing. Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. Banana phone. Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong, ding. Banana phone. It grows in bunches. I've got my hunches. Have you seen the Star Wars Kid, Jenny? Yeah. What do you think of the Star Wars Kid? Legend. Absolute legend. Yeah. On par creatively with, I would say, your output. Yeah, probably. Better, I'd say. You know, he reached, he touched more people. Definitely. He touched the world in a way that we can only dream of doing. You know who touched the most people? Who touched the most people? Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Not my ass. Not my ass either. Nope. Not. I mean, not mine either, but on mass, it's Jesus or Allah, 100%. Definitely. Who was the other one? Allah. He's a good guy, dude. I try not to retain. Like Ian Watkins. Like Ian Watkins. Oh, no. Wait, is that the Lost Prophets guy? Yeah. We talked about him on Saturday. We did, yeah. I really don't want to retread that ground. It makes me physically ill. Do you want to do a little epic field? field scene report on the show on friday yeah sure wait are we recording right now i feel like this is so nonchalantly happening okay yes like i said we're the world's premiere amateur podcast proudly amateur okay what's the field report uh i don't know you tell me was it did you like did you like it yeah i liked it yeah it was good

I didn't really look at, like, any person in particular. I didn't, like, see any, like, faces that, like, stood out. It's two packs, man. There were a lot of faces. Yeah. Just another... I actually got confused with the bartender because the bartender was like, oh, you've got to, like, come to me, like, remember me because I'm going to hook you up. They were like, we're only going to give you... Well, you got the one drink. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't drink beer, so, like... And then he was like, come back to me. And then I kept getting confused. Like, which me? Like, I didn't know which bartender was. It's fine. British men do all look the same. I was like, hey. And I, like, tried to make, like, hand signals. And it was the wrong guy. And then I got the right guy. Wait, what were the hand signals? I was like... Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. Banana phone. Wait, what were they hooking you up with? Seltzers? No, it was like tequila. That's not a lot of wine. I definitely did get like three seltzers. Yeah, you're entitled. You're listening to the free version of Clout Farm for the full episode. Sub the Patreon geezer. Yeah, you got me like 10 White Claws. I can literally get through half of one. That's okay. We'll back you up. How's the tour been so far? uh yeah good i've pretty much just been here in glasgow and it's been good nice people yeah what's your like how does your routine do you do you take great pains how do you how do you sustain your health on these jaunts and also do you call them jaunts white claw i actually don't drink um i guess i get sleep that's probably How I maintain my health. Eating and sleeping. Classic. Water, you know. What's the average bedtime routine? We're talking Wednesday, working week. How are you going down? Yeah, yeah. Not like blowjobs, like sleeping. Thanks, Rob. I use it. Going down is the wrong term. How are you hitting the sack? I mean, no.

How are you hitting the hay? I'm going to bed around. I'd say I have like a bedtime thing on my phone. It says 1240 exactly. But I'd say it's anywhere between 1240 and 130. That's my average. I try to maintain it. That's the key. Same bedtime and same getting up time. The key is actually that you have to eat. at the same time every day. And that's what I actually try to do. Wait, so what about Xanax? I don't do Xanax. So on the phone you mentioned you have a code of some kind? A code? To like open your phone? Yeah. Yeah. No, it's my face. It's your face? Yeah, it's my face. Can you rate my James K face? I don't know, like 3.5. Out of five. There's actually something there. I feel like in that, the head shake is kind of me. It might work. Yeah, it might work. That's cool. Do you do impersonations? Impressions? Yeah, he's a clown. Give me one, I'll rock with it. And please make it be a Scottish person who says necropolis. I wasn't going to do a Scottish version. Do you do impressions? No, don't even ask me. No, I'm not going to do it. Do an impression of a glamorous artist on tour. Whoa, that's perfect. Cheers! That was crazy. Do we have like a question or something? Can you do Al Pacino? General Italian Mafia. General Italian Mafia. Okay, all right. Necropolis. Was that good? Yeah. Yeah, Scottish Italian Mafia. Okay, I have a question for you. You fucking died in the Seth fish oil video. Was that real or was this Halloween? Yeah. You know it's funny. Do you know who that person is? Bobby? No. We got Quim Cardona. Like the skate. Yeah, the skater. He's like a street skater. Quim. Quim Cardona. Wait, so it wasn't Bobby? He's like a street skater. No, that's the guy going through my ghost shell or whatever. He's like, oh. Yeah, this is like epic street skater. Check him out.

quim quim god i feel like his name online is quim god but like maybe i made that up he must be really good at skating no he's he's good he's a really good um skater that i don't even know the history i'm like wearing a skate shirt i was like i don't know about skating but i like somehow i think blind gets a pass in terms of civilian skate well exactly yeah that's what i'm saying they've got it's got a great logo it's like yeah i feel like Thrasher, Blind, World Industries. I think... They got logos. They got great logos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. No, but you can... He said, oh, I'm going to wear a Thrasher. There's a pose of pass on that stuff, you know? Thrasher. I feel like the Thrasher brand got so devalued. You would wear Thrasher? I wouldn't. No, but I'm saying people who don't skate wearing Thrasher. Yeah. People who don't skate wearing Thrasher is fine. Yeah, Rob can go band to band in terms of ollies and shovets. Mm-hmm. I like the idea of pulling up to the club as not a skater with the skateboard. That's how far the dilution of that culture has come. I guess, so, have you ever had a near-death experience? Yeah. I mean, not really that close, but, like, I, yeah. I almost drowned, I guess. Yeah, I almost drowned. What happened? Well, I was in, there's this place in Maine that I was, I went to, and we were in this boat. That we, like, inflated. It was, like, an inflatable boat. And there's, like, a river that goes into the, like, in low tide. It, like, empties out into the ocean. It's, like, really fun. You just, like, float down the river. And we were in the boat. I was also, like, on mushrooms. So there's that. And then I got to the ocean. And I went under. I was, like, I'm just, like, dip. I was, like, having the best time ever. And then I was just, like, out.

super super far this is in the ocean in the ocean yeah i got like sucked into a riptide and then i was like near these rocks and i was i basically did the one thing you're not supposed to do i was like started panicking but it was because i was like kind of still high and um yeah i just started panicking and then this other like older guy was out there and then like My boyfriend, like, was out there. We were all, like, stuck out there. Then the lifeguard, he got stuck out there, too. Like, we all just got stuck out there. And then, like, a bunch of surfers came and saved us. I'm not even kidding. And I was, like, naked at that point. Oh, my God. My bathing suit, like, fell off. I was just, like, super... I was, like, having a hard time. That was pretty good. I got to the land, and I was like, yes, like... Damn, if that was me as a lifeguard, I'd rather just... Die. What? By having to save people? No, everyone failed to save people. It was not his fault that he kind of got stuck out there because there was just three of us and he couldn't help all three of us at once. We just needed more people. There's something really funny. I think if you want to talk about female privilege, which by the way, this is a men's rights activists podcast ultimately. The female privilege is the ability to be able to yell help. Because I think the thought of... Wait, you have to be like, oh. Hold up. Well, no, as a man, you just have to die. You have to, you have to. It's the only dignified thing to do. You just have to go to war. I'd like to think that in that scenario, I would just accept my fate. Rather than be like... Which reminds me, I was doing a pretty funny scenario. I have to do an off-pod about yelling for help during sex. We'll talk about it later. You need to explain. Do you know the DJ? No. He's a white guy? Okay. Yeah, well, it's funny to imagine his dad yelling for help during sex.

Well, why? Like, what happened? What happened? Just all the idea of him yelling mid-sex for help, yelling for his son. This was really funny. Why was he yelling for his son during sex? I mean, it didn't necessarily really happen. Okay, okay. But who knows? The night is young. For what it's worth, by the way, I'm really glad that you survived that ordeal. That sounds fun. Me too, yeah. How long ago was that? That definitely counts as a near-death experience. It was a while ago. I don't know, it was like five, six years ago. Pre-pandemic. Yeah. Respect for being alive. It's honestly kind of lame. I'd say it's a lame one. No, that's pretty good. I haven't nearly done that. I think most people don't have an experience. Yeah. Yeah. All right, I'll take it. Well, you were in a spooky graveyard yesterday if your stories are to be believed. Yeah, why don't you say the name of that graveyard one more time? Necropolis. It's like Glasgow Necropolis. Do you ever do a seance? Yeah, of course. Go off. I've done so many. Let's hear it. Constantly. Well, like, you need the right tools. Constantly. Like a hammer? No, like... I mean, a seance, yeah, I don't know. It's like... A chainsaw? I was like a kid. I was just like, I got like a I was like into like Book of the Dead and I got like Black Book of Magic and like all that kind of stuff. And then, yeah, I've just done like various spells and stuff like that. What are you trying to summon? Usually it's just like for yourself. It's like some kind of ritual that you just, I mean, this is the deep talk. But like it is usually just a ritual that you're doing for yourself to like.

push something out of your head or, like, bring something towards you, like, that you want. Spiritual constipation. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Such as? What are the things that I've, like, wanted? It's like if I'm having, like, I don't know, a relationship that's not, like, the way, like, a good relationship and, like, I want that, like, kind of, like. to be settled in my life in some way i'll do like some kind of spell for it it usually works you should try this day though yeah it does everything i could ever actually i went to this place and i was in mexico city my friend took me there um because i guess yeah i went there because she was like i'm gonna take you um they're not gonna talk to you because you're white and like you're white and like so she brought me and she like took me around this was like maybe five years ago or so And, yeah, I got a bunch of, like, I don't know, like, soaps. Oh, is that the witchcraft market? Yeah. Yeah, it's sick, isn't it? Yeah, it's really sick. With the animal market right next to it. Well, that's what I'm going to get into, which is not sick. Oh, I don't want to get that done. It's fucking awful. Next door to it, there's a live market. It's, like, I love animals. It was just, like, really sad. And they were, like, yelling at me, like, oh, like, buy a dog to, like, sacrifice so you can get this guy to like you. Crazy shit. It's insane. Yeah, it was really crazy. I was like, how people do that? Wow. Yeah. Decapitating a Labrador for a smoochie. Did it work? Damn, yeah, it works. I think that's kind of cool. So if you use spells to deal with spiritual constipation. I don't like exclusively use spells. I just think it's fun and sometimes I like to do it because... What about spiritual diarrhea? What about spiritual diarrhea? How are you clocking it up? Clocking it up. Do you see my point? It's just as a two ends of the spectrum. It's a good point. Two ends of the spectrum. I'm not doing it enough.

For there to be diarrhea, I guess. I don't know. Well, it's too much sometimes. But it's not too much because I'm not doing it that much. That's what I'm trying to say to you. I'm not doing it that much. But maybe you spell something bad that's too much. You know? Wait, so I do a bad spell? You've been to Mexico City. You know how it gets. Physically. So how does it get spiritually? You definitely have to answer this question, by the way. You're listening to the free version of CloudFarm for the full episode sub the Patreon geezer. But talking magic, like, what Harry Potter house are you in? Oh, dude, hell yeah. This is the thing we know most about. Yeah, I don't know. What are the houses? Wow. Fake Potterhead. Fake Potterhead. This is the scoop. I will not. I will not. Yeah, you can scoop. Yeah, scoop it. I am not. Can we get you saying I, James K, am a fake Potterhead? I, James K, am a fake Potterhead. No, what's the... What are they? Gryffindor? You got Gryffindor. You got Hufflepuff. You got Ravenclaw. Well, why don't you do it to me because you guys know what they are so well. David does. I don't know. I feel like either Ravenclaw or Slytherin. A hundred percent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah? Yeah. I think, yeah, because I don't think... Spells on deck. Yeah, but also, like, not aligned with darkness, per se. No, exactly. A studious, hardworking. Yeah. Kind of cerebral with it. Very cerebral, yeah. Yeah. I think you're a Ravenclaw. Okay, cool. So, you know. What is, like, what's Huffin? Narcs. Yeah, Narcs, they're Narcs. They're the kinds of people who, if you're running a venue, you call the cops in other venues. Exactly, yeah. Necrophilis. Stop it, kidding. I'd love it if you were, like, actually, like, a deep Potterhead and just, like, ashamed to admit it. So you never read them? No, I read the first one. I didn't like it. Oh, nice.

When are you in London until? Is there like a museum you want to take me to? Yeah, I live next to the Harry Potter world. I just feel like you could use... If you're about to go to Europe, you're going to struggle. I lived in this warehouse a while ago and all my friends were super into it who lived there and they were like, let's do like a Potter marathon. And I watched literally every single one of them back to back. I think it took two days. Like we slept a little bit. And there was one that I thought was really good, which is like a time... I mean, I love time travel. I just love time travel. It's like my favorite movie genre. You're more into Doctor Who? I didn't watch Doctor Who either. Doctor Who. So wait, when are you in London? Till Thursday. Okay, so you got all of Doctor Who. It's going to be busy. It's going to be a busy trip. But if you're magically inclined in general... What was your kind of like, you know, big kid equivalent of like media magic style? Oh, I mean, I watched The Craft when I was really young. And then I also watched this show. What did I watch? What was it called? Oh, my God. I watched some other show that was like on TV. It was pretty shitty. Charmed. Charmed. About like, I think it was like three or four witch sisters. Hocus Pocus. I mean, these are like the, yeah. And then I just liked, I did like Lord of the Rings. So that's like fantasy, but it's got some magic. I feel like those movies don't really hold up in the way that people claim they do. That's not true. I love, I think Lord of the Rings is like one of the best film series like ever made. I mean, I rewatched it kind of recently. I just was so slapsticky. You like slapstick. I like my idea of slapstick. You're like Austin Powers. Of course. I mean, obviously there are scenes that are fucking sick. I love the meats back on the menu.

You're listening to the free version of Clout Farm for the full episode sub the Patreon geezer. Yeah. I love it. I love his orcs. I feel like they're great. Watching the new Rings of Power, I was like really upset because I feel like the orcs...